Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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