oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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