I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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