i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
