In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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