Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
