I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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