I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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