My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize