i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize