So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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