After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
