i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
