he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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