I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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