Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
