i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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