I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
