1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Jerry, you need to find god
i just had sex bonerless
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
