I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
