Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
