You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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