The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
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He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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