i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
