I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize