Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize