just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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