Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
