k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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