It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
