theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
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we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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