i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dignity is for republicans.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
