my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize