So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
