i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
