she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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