Where is the hickey?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize