So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
