ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize