my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
4 words: hood of his car
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
