I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
