u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Bring me that man meat
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
