what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
