Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
too bad you live with your parents still
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
In America we eat man semen.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
