it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
from now on my penis is your penis
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
