i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize