I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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