There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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