What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
