Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
