The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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