I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize