hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is my gift to your gina
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize