I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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