i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
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she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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