this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
