worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
